A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Austin, Tx to be part of a huge convention that overflows with Geeks on the go.  Being married to a high-tech Geek, I know how deceptive some of those quiet nerdy types can be. Apparently SXSW does too, because on the first night of this organized mayhem they actually hosted a colorful discussion called (wait for it)

“The Sexual Survival Guide for Geeks”

Here’s a sample from the intro:

“What they say about geeks, sex, relationships and hooking up just isn’t true: we ARE hot and nerdy, and when it comes to events like SXSWi we could all use a little “booty call boot camp”. Anyone can read sex ed basics online, but when you’re faced with real-life situations and the nuances of quirky geeks who are smarter than the average hottie, and have that irresistible OCD, you’ll need to know more than how to Google a pickup line or navigate a smooth SXSWi afterparty fling.”

I don’t make this stuff up! Violet Blue, Web Celeb and periodic pundit for Oprah, led the discussion with topics such as:

–       Do’s and Don’ts for picking up Geeks

–       How to have a great one-nighter and feel happy saying hi in the halls the next day

–       Why Geeks are better lovers, and how to attract a geek

–       How to have a hot time without pissing off your hotel roommates

–       Exactly how to have a smooth negotiation about safer sex

Blue urges hopeful afterparty flingers to be prepared by taking a handout with specific “Geek Sexual Survival Kit” recommendations on it.

Um, that’s pretty Geeky by itself, isn’t it?

Imagine being at a late night mixer. You lock eyes with somebody pretty cute who’s looking at you like you’re a hot, juicy steak at dinner time. Somehow you’re chatting. He moves in closer, pretending he can’t hear you because of the band. You fake like you can’t hear him too and press in. Last call is announced and you both know you’d like to continue the party elsewhere. Privately…

At this precise moment are you really going to ask Mr. Hott to wait a minute and fumble for your handy notecard with printed instructions on how to navigate the process? Didn’t think so.

I love the idea of having a “safety first” sort of presentation at the beginning of a conference known for casual hookups, but the idea of handing out notecards seems a little off beat. Hopefully next time they’ll be able to persuade a sponsor into providing those attendees with something useful in the moment: condoms and breath mints, or maybe even one of those cute charts that show 101 different sexual positions for hipster stick figures. They could all have the guy wearing rectangular glasses and a knitted sock hat, with skinny jeans. You think I’m kidding.

Meanwhile, I went to network and meet face to face with genuinely cool, savvy folks like Deb Ng, Rick Calvert, Dave Cynkin, Jesse Stanchak, and Emily Molitor, to learn about the latest trends and tech.  Last, and most certainly not least, to eat Stubbs’ BBQ and process with my treasured friend and writing inspiration, Claire Wagner.

 

Lori